Just a little gym story...

So me and my homeboy Josh (#3 on my top friends) have started working out everyday at Bally's. We started last Monday and have gone everyday, Mon-Fri. So we are pretty proud of ourselves and are already predicting how sexy we will look in 1 month. I've started running on the treadmill and am doing 1.5-2 miles. My man-titties are even disappearing, which I guess some consider a positive thing, but they are always nice to feel when I'm lonely and horny... so it's a good and bad thing.

So I'm feeling pretty in shape now and with my record 11min 30 sec mile (I know that's not fast for most, but I am a big guy, you critical bastards) I'm feeling like I'm getting back into my football shape.

So my friend Pamela who also works out at Bally's, decides she wants to take a cardio-aerobic-weight class thing. So I'm like cool. It'll be a nice change of workout and I get to stare at girl's butts the entire time! Win Win situation!

Have you ever been the most out of shape person in an entire room? Well I now have. This class was some sick twisted invention of Satin. First we have to do 3 laps on the indoor track. So I do one and then go to the locker room and pee. And wait til it seems like I should have done 3 laps before going back to the class. Then we have to set up our area, which is the step platform thing, hand weights and then like a light bench press bar with weights on it and some other fitness crap. I see what the ladies put on their bar, so I double it, because I'm in shape and I'm buff!

I should have known it was a bad sign, when I was already sweating from just setting up our areas with the weights.

Then we start working out. Doing every muscle in our body plus cardio. I'm doing my best to keep up, but I couldn't. It was embarrassing because there were other girls there and older ladies who kept up with no problem AND did more weight than me. So much for looking manly.

Then the instructor came over to me once in the middle and asked if I was ok? I guess I looked like I was about to pass out and crap my pants. I was like YES I'M OK! I'm just resting my eyes...damn... leave me alone... I GOT THIS! Ok, maybe I didn't say all that. It was probably more of a weak grunt as I wiped away my tears.

So an hour goes by and the Fitness Nazi keeps going. Then another 30 minutes and another 30 minutes. It was a 2 hour class! Oh my god! I'm glad I peed at the beginning, or else I would have pissed all over the mat and weights because all my muscles were maxed out. What I don't get is that the instructor didn't even look in shape. She was kind of fat. How is she the instructor? Where is the Billy Blanks looking instructor?

So yeah, that was my first gym class. And the moral of the story is that you may think you're in shape, but there's always an old lady out there who is more in shape.

Ramblings

What's up my peoples! Or should I saw Wassup! I'm at that awkward age now, where I don't know if it's still cool to type my words to look like ebonics. When I say what's up, I feel like a square, old white person. Look, I even said "square," which is an old white people term. When I say "wassup" I imagine a 16 year old hoodrat, which makes me feel lame, or even worse, a 40 year old guy still sayin Wassssupppp, like those beer commercials that were played out years ago. I hate when people who are older than 21 type as if they are 13 year old girls typing on a keyboard that's missing all the punctuation keys and half of the alphabet. I shouldn't have to read my emails out loud in order to understand what the hell you're trying to tell me! I just want to know how your doing. How's you're life? How's that alcoholism working out for you? I'm not trying to decipher the DaVinci Code when reading your freakin email.

Being 25 years old, I also don't know what to do when I go to the movies with a homeboy. Do I still skip a seat inbetween us like I did when I was younger and didn't want to look gay? Or do we sit next to each other like adults? I guess it's not a big deal to sit next to my homeboy, though it is nice to have extra space, especially when your ass takes up extra space. On the other hand, sitting next to your homeboy does make it easier to hold hands and make out during the previews.... On similar note, why do my blogs always turn out so many gay references... It's because I'm secure in myself!... right?....maybe?... hopefully?...

Well life has changed a little for me lately. I now have 3 children and 4 baby's mamas... how the hell does that add up? I'm just kidding, I don't have any kids...(thanks to the "pulling-out" method of birth control! It's the best form of birth control. It takes great timing, a low sperm count, and slipping her the morning after pill the next day... "No baby, this pill is to keep you from getting a hangover, really!")

Actually, I was promoted at my job to supervisor. So now I supervise the night shift from 10pm-6am, leaving my days free for auditions and counting the hairs on my ass! I'm liking it so far, though right now I work Fri, Sat and Sun nights, so I have no weekend

Acting-wise, I've been going on a good number of auditions. I even was put on avail for one commercial, which is the final step before booking it. Unfortunately I didn't book it, otherwise I wouldn't still be talking to you Myspace losers... I mean, I didn't book it, otherwise I would have taken all of my great friends out for dinner! Yay, Hometown Buffet! One of the casting people did tell me I was their first choice for the commercial, but something must have happened right at the end and they decided to go a different way all of a sudden. Most likely, it was probably because they realized I was too sexy for their product and would overshadow the sale with my hunkness.

So yeah, that's what's been up with me. I hope to hear from people and let me know what you've been up to. If anyone wants to hang out on my weekends (Wed and Thurs) let me know (sobbing)... Wed and Thurs weekends suck! You know how much harder it is to find a good hooker on those days? Well do you? I didn't think so!

PS: GO MAVS!!!!

PSS: I am starting to like that fuckin Paris Hilton song, and I want to shoot myself in the earlobe because of it.