2005 Resolutions

Here are my new year's resolutions for 2005. Some are for real and some aren't. Only I will know what is what.

1. Sign with a talent agency in Los Angeles.

2. Lose 80 lbs.

3. Be successful in acting and comedy, not having to get an extra job.

4. Make 10 new friends in LA.

5. Appear in a television show or movie.

6. Discover the cure for Cancer or at least cure my athlete's foot.

7. See what all the fuss over fake breasts is about.

8. Run a mile in 8 minutes.

9. Work out at least 4 times per week.

10. Start using 2 ply toilet paper.

11. Don't pick nose in public and then flick it at people I don't know.

12. Don't laugh at people when they trip and fall.

13. Stop watching so much porno... or at least before 9 AM.

14. Start waking up after 9 AM.

15. And finally... Enjoy my first year in La La Land!