Spanish as a Second Language

Well, it's finally happened. I have been turned down from an audition by a casting director because I am not fluent in Spanish. I knew this day would come, but to finally have it come is depressing and pisses me off.

Why does Hollywood think that if there is a Latino character in a production, they have to speak Spanish. Why can't there just be a regular Latino character who speaks English. Hollywood doesn't get reality and the fact that there are a lot of Latinos out there who are regular everyday people like White and Black people. We don't all go around speaking Spanish everywhere, we're not mostly the stereotypical immigrants and cholos. Why does every normal role where a person plays a school teacher, or a lawyer or a college student have to be a white or black actor? Latinos can play more than just the stupid stereotype character roles.

So I'm already limited by the number of roles that are out there for Latinos, which is very little. It shrinks even more when the roles that ARE for Latinos require you to speak fluent Spanish. Add to the fact that a lot of Latino roles are for fast food commercials, which don't want overweight actors, and I'm screwed. McDonalds had no trouble helping me get big, but now they want to turn their backs on me, bastards. Don't let me catch Ronald McDonald in an alley somewhere. I'd go "Cholo" on him. Then maybe I could get a cholo gig.

So I've decided to sell out and really try to learn Spanish. I now watch two hours of Spanish TV every day. I watch this show called "Laura" which is like a Spanish version of Jerry Springer, except they actually show the fighting. So far, it seems like every show is about a guy who has been cheating and they have a security guard holding him in a chair and every girl they bring out goes and beats on him, but the guy can't do anything because he's being held down. It's pretty messed up. I wish someone would beat up on Laura, now that would be funny.

After Laura I watch this show called "al Rojo Vivo" which is like Entertainment Tonight. The host is HOT. I don't know what the majority of the things they say mean, but I don't mind cuz I can watch the women on the show all day. Watching will hopefully help me be able to mimic a Spanish accent, and it for sure helps con mi ereccion ;) shwing!

So this post was my therapy. I needed to vent my frustrations. This past month I did have my first audition from my agent. It was for a FOX promo for a new show that is like American Idol but for dancing. They wanted bad dancers to look stupid on the promo. I did some of my worst dancing and didn't get the gig, so I will take that as a compliment. I guess I'm just too good of a dancer. And props to my homeboy Kiyo, who I stole a move from called the Pepper Grinder. Basically you pretend to be using a pepper grinder. I did some other stuff but will post about it later, because I think that if I tell people I end up jinxing myself.

So thanks for reading, sorry it wasn't funny, but sometime a guy has to vent.