I'm Gangsta!

Hey peoples,

Wow, looks like I kept my word about doing these blogs again. If only I could keep my word about wearing condoms...sigh...

Wouldn't it be funny if I stopped this blog after that last line? No? ok...

Sorry about tagging people on the Facebook note last time. I only do it for attention and to get readers and because I'm a blog whore. And so umm...yeah, sorry again for tagging you all on this one too. hehehe I'm so rotten!!! I like when my mom says I'm rotten. It's like the mom version of calling me an asshole.

I brought my gym clothes to work today, so it looks like I'll be getting back into the gym. Or more likely I'll be going back home with some clean gym clothes...sigh...I've lost my working out motivation.

I've turned into quite the butterball over the last month. With the stress of everything happening, plus plumping up to hopefully be on the weight loss show, I've become quite rotund... I think I used that word correctly. I'm very juicy...at least according to the new sweatpants I'm wearing that says "Juicy" on the butt...hehe... But yeah, if I don't get on the workout show then I'm screwed! I'll have to lose weight the old fashioned way... yep...lots of meth.

Here's something interesting I've found out. Telling ladies that you have a case against you and were in jail...kind of a turn on to them. I guess it's part of the bad boy thing. So yes, I've been using that line quite a lot lately. Even when it doesn't fit into the conversation. They'll be like "Ooh, I want to see Bruno." And I say, "Yeah, when I was in jail we watched a lot of movies all day." Or "I want to go to Europe." and I'll say, "Yeah, hopefully these charges get dropped so I can travel again..." or "I love the new season of Entourage." and I'll say, "Yeah, I'm glad I didn't get raped in jail..." yeah, I didn't say it always made sense...haha

It also works with guys. I can look like a tough guy without having to actually fight. For example, "Man, I'd kick that guy's ass if I wasn't out on bail..." haha, it's like having instant street cred. I just hate when they ask how long I was in jail. I'm like uh...12...They say "years? months? days?" umm...no...12 hours...but man, it felt like a WHOLE DAY! I was about to go crrraaaaazy! haha

As you may or may not know, I've gotten deep into debt as a result of legal and stripper fees. My whole mentality has changed. Before I was careful about spending money because I was working on getting out of debt. Now I'm like what's an extra $300 going to hurt when I'm 30K in debt? There's no way for me to get out of debt on my own, I have to book some big gigs or win the lottery or get a rich sugar mama. So if you know any rich ladies...send them my way! I may not rock their world, but I'll gently nudge it some! :)

Well that's all I have for today. I can tell I'm still rusty. Things aren't flowing as easy, just like when I try to pee when I wake up with morning wood. Writers block! I need something interesting to happen to talk about! Not much interesting happens when you sit at home all weekend getting high...errr...on life... :) Someone take me out so I can have something to write about!

Comment Responses:

Ed: First off, thank you for listening to the directions and commenting on blogspot! And I'll make you cry from laughter in the future at some point.

Rykien: Also thanks for commenting on blogspot. And yes, damn those past lives of ours fucking it up for us today!

Gladys: We should do another co-blog!

Rene: If you didn't pee when you sneezed so much, then maybe we could have been homies in high school. But the wetting problem was kind of a turn off... ;)

Holly: Deal!

Albert: hahaha, so if I'm Samantha then who would you be?

Olia: 1- We all know I've always been shameless. It's the only way to make it in LA. 2. hahaha well congrats on jeans half full, mine are 1 1/2 full lately :( 3. Your awesome too!

Amir: Thanks man...I really have nothing funny to respond with to that :( Thanks for killing my comedy... haha jk

Tamara: Oooh, my blog may be more interesting if I take it to Texas, then it'll be a whole concept about working to get back to LA...hmmm...interesting...

Tony: I'm bloggin!